I Won’t Be Celebrating Earth Day

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Earth Day Events
RAYDUNAWAY Ray Dunaway
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Today is Earth Day, but I won’t be celebrating, preferring to observe V.I. Lenin’s birthday instead. Critics claim the two observances are inter-related, but I’ll leave it to others to plot the similarities.

I just prefer to be contrary.

But as you may or may not know, on Good Friday President Hamlet announced that he’s delaying his decision on the dreaded Keystone Pipeline until late this year, insisting that it will take more study as to the correct course of action. And naturally, it has nothing to do with the November elections, and the 100 million dollar contribution that hedge fund billionaire Tom Steyer has pledge in support of Democratic Party candidates. Steyer has campaigned against the pipeline which will bring petroleum extracted from Canadian tar sands to refineries in the US. Oh, did I mention that Steyer’s hedge fund has transitioned into Solar energy?

But I’m sure that has nothing to do with his opposition.

The vapid Junior Senator from California, Marin County’s Barbara “Please don’t call me ma’am” Boxer called on her knowledge of Oncology and Environmental Science to warn that in addition to increasing carbon Emissions, Keystone will cause an epidemic of CANCER!!!! It’s not exactly clear how that might happen, but with a degree in economics from Brooklyn College, she can probably make a strong case-or not.

To those opposed, this 1200 mile-long pipeline is a big deal. But is it? Not really, once you consider that there are 2.3 million miles of pipelines winding underground across the nation. So Keystone would represent an increase of .04 percent in total mileage, or a distance of 2 feet compared to a mile. So it might seem that it’s really not that big a deal.

But apparently, it is– to some.

Politico reports that beginning today, as many as 5000 anti-pipeline activists, including ranchers, farmers, Native Americans, and Neil Young and Daryl Hannah will begin protests on the mall in D.C. Perhaps James Hansen will be there too. Dr. Hansen once compared trains delivering coal to power plants to trains hauling prisoners to concentration camps.

The doc has always been a little over-the-top. He also predicted that the entire West Side of Manhattan would be under water by now, due to rising sea levels from Climate Change, formerly known as Global Warming

And a number of other traditional Indian rituals will be observed, including a week-long sacred fire, releasing death-dealing CO2 into our already-compromised atmosphere. Not to mention the horses, which release Methane, which is an even more potent greenhouse gas.

On Thursday night, a group calling itself “The Other 98 Percent” will use a giant projector to throw anti-pipeline messages onto EPA headquarters. Don’t you just wish you could be there? Maybe there will be mimes! And puppets!

Which brings me to my point. This past weekend, PETA held protests in front of Liam Neeson’s fashionable New York apartment on the Upper West Side. Neeson has objected to Mayor De Blasio’s ban on horse drawn carriages. And PETA will hear nothing of it. Maybe they have a credible argument in favor of the Mayors edict, but it’s hard to sympathize when those arguments are voiced by a guy wearing a horse costume. Seriously.

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