Tale Of The Tape: Philadelphia Eagles At New York Giants
Michael Vick has put good numbers on the board in the first quarter of the season, but there is something missing as his team has lost three in a row after an opening victory.
Tale Of The Tape: New York Jets At Atlanta Falcons
Geno Smith has exceeded expectations by the numbers that he has produced. The Jets rank 16th out of the 32 teams in the NFL in passing yards per game, and nobody thought Smith would be at that level during his rookie season.
The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”
Perhaps the most lopsided battle in video game sports is that of Little Mac vs. Glass Joe – the first fight in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! If done correctly, skilled players can knock the beans out of Joe in 42 seconds, flat. Unskilled players can still take him out before three rounds are up. And unskilled players who think too much would wonder – why is a French guy named “Joe”?
In any case, we here at CBS wondered, what was a more lopsided matchup (and subsequent surprising defeat): Mac vs. Joe? Or the recent Super Bowl champion New York Giants vs. the mostly hapless Carolina Panthers? Let’s go to the tape. Please note that the “winner” of each category is the more humiliating option:
One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)
Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.
Tale Of The Tape: New York Jets At Tennessee Titans
Geno Smith has done enough to keep the Jets’ heads above water.
Tale Of The Tape: New England Patriots At Atlanta Falcons
Matt Ryan is one of the best regular-season quarterbacks in the league. That’s meant as a compliment, but when you don’t win in the postseason, it impacts your reputation.